I believe every season of life is a beautiful season if you’re willing to look at the big picture.
Right now, I live in a season of two and too.
I have two children. I have two under two. I have a child who is 22 months old and a child who is two weeks old. I have to pack two extra outfits and change two diapers before I can go anywhere so it usually takes us too long to get out the door. My maternity clothes are too baggy and my pre-pregnancy clothes are still too tight but I’m too busy orchestrating two different pediatric check-ups to really care. There are two picture frames on my shelf with a generic family and the words “Photo Frame” artfully displayed inside them, but I’m a little too distracted to actually take time to get photos printed for them.
Ryan works too many hours and his lunch breaks are too short but when he rushes through the door to plant two kisses on each of our heads before he wolfs down some leftovers I know that everything is going to be okay. These long hours are temporary and they won’t last too long.
He heads back to work and I read two short books and put two children down for a nap so that I can take a little time for myself. I nap or I read or I put away laundry and think about this season of twos and toos. The baby goes through at least two outfits a day so there is always too much laundry for me to keep up with as quickly as I’d like but I do my best. I’m still a little hormonal and emotional so I get a little too teary-eyed each time I fold or hang up a newborn-sized outfit and remember when my little big boy was swimming in these very same sizes.
The toddler wakes up and read him a story or two before he helps me out with a few other chores. The baby wakes up and then there are two. I nurse her while the toddler watches a Veggie Tales DVD (if he’s earned it… some days he breaks too many rules and loses that privilege) and then we go for a walk if it’s not too cold or we watch Big Brother color before I realize it’s almost time for Ryan to get home and I’ve yet to make dinner. I take two minutes to pull out a freezer meal and pop it in the oven and then I change two more diapers, kiss an owie for my active little guy, and nurse the baby again.
Ryan comes home and spoons out dinner for himself and the toddler. They eat together while I finish nursing. It takes too long and my dinner is cold, but I’ll live. I chat with our son while Ryan snuggles our daughter on the couch and reports, “She’s acting hungry again!”
This short little bit of family time is over too quickly and it’s time to head upstairs. Ryan takes a shower while I put two little ones into pajamas. We read two books and we kiss two little heads, then after what usually feels like far too long, they are both asleep.
It’s just Ryan and I. We’re just two. We’re too busy, too tired, too overwhelmed by all the socializing we did all day. But we make time for each other and we are thankful for the time we do get.
I could easily spend my time feeling flustered and wishing away these days, but instead I choose to embrace them. I change too many diapers, sure, but it means I get too many opportunities to tickle tiny tummies and kiss tiny noses. I nurse too much, I guess, but it means I get to spend far too much time snuggling the sweetest little girl and reading stories to the sweetest little boy. I’m exhausted by the time 7:30 rolls around, yes, but that just means I get to spend too much of my evening snuggled up to my husband watching a show or reading a good book.
The only real frustration, when I look at it that way, is that these days are already going by far too quickly, that our first sweet baby is already out of the sweet tiny baby states. I worried and stressed and fretted during my whole pregnancy that there would be too many of them and not enough of me, but instead it somehow seems to be the other way around. I have too much heart and love to share with them, not enough time with each of them each day.