Wednesday, July 13, 2016

Hats

Sometimes I feel like I have my life pretty well balanced for how much I’ve got going on. Other times it feels like my neck is going to snap under the weight of all the hats I’m wearing.

I’m a Christian. I’m trying to do the right thing, help other people, minister, mentor, and just generally spread God’s love.
I’m a wife and a mother. I feel like mother is an outrageously heavy hat all alone sometimes. In the middle of nursing, in between Goodnight Moon and Guess How Much I Love You, I am a scary brown bear or a cute squeaky mouse or a loud race car.
I am hazmat. I am an entire hazmat team, multiple times a day.
I’m our family’s nutritionist and chef. Driver. Housekeeper (though it often looks like I’ve misplaced that last hat here lately)
I am Sara Bell, UN. (unregistered nurse) With two wild little monkeys always jumping off something or running at full speed, it feels like I am treating some kind of minor wound almost daily.
Pre-school teacher. Tailor. Makeshift therapist.
I am literally someone’s food.
Author. Small business owner. Personal assistant to my husband. I’m our marketing analyst, marketing director, social media manager, bookkeeper.
Hostess. We currently have a list of ten visitors planning to come to our neck of the woods and the list seems to grow every time I blink.
Gardener, librarian, warden of cell block Time Out.

The other day was a long, crazy day. Like many days, I felt like I as running full speed from 5am until 9pm. All three children were finally asleep and the dishes were finally done. Instead of being able to sleep I was lying awake with a sick feeling in my chest and stomach, the result of adrenaline pumping through my veins as my body moved into a strange kind of fight-or-flight mode.

It’s very strange for me to see how this three-under-four chaos changes from day to day. One day I fall asleep feeling like I did my best and that is good enough. The next day, a seemingly identical day, I fall asleep (or don’t!) feeling stressed and anxious and wondering what I can do to make this all easier and smoother for all of us.


I guess all I can do for now is pray!

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