Tuesday, January 10, 2017

Evolution of My Grocery Trips



Single me: I am grocery shopping for my own apartment because I am a legitimate grown-up! It was so smart of me to walk here so I can afford to drive to work and class every day this week! It won’t be a big deal to walk back with all these bags. It probably won’t be a big deal. Maybe I should not buy so much soup this week. Those will be heavy. Maybe I’ll just buy one can of soup.
“Wait, sorry, Twenty ONE dollars?! I need to put something back. Can you put back that can of potato soup?”

Newlywed me: I could make homemade lasagna tomorrow night and homemade enchiladas Tuesday night! With that rice Ryan loves!
Ooh, I should try to make Ryan some gluten free calzones!
What is this?! Gluten free Betty Crocker cookie mix?! I’m going to make these for Ryan.

Pre-kid me: Grocery shopping is so stressful! I only have from 5:30pm to 11:30pm on weeknights and from 10am to 11:30pm on weekends to do WHATEVER I WANT so adding a 30-minute grocery trip somewhere in there is seriously awful.
“Babe, will you come grocery shopping with me tomorrow?”
“I don’t know, because it’s so boring! I never know what to get.”
“Of course we can get smoothies first!”

One-kid me: Grocery shopping is really kind of fun. I am a mom! I am out finding healthy foods to nourish my body, and therefore my baby. Oooh, I have a coupon for that! Maybe next week we’ll try—AHHHHHHH! He’s awake! He’s going to need to nurse! Oh my gosh. What do I do? How am I going to do this? Maybe he’ll go back to sleep.
Oh my gosh! He’s not going back to sleep! OH! I’ll wear him! Where’s the wrap? Let’s see here… diapers… wipes… extra outfit for him… extra outfit for me… bag for putting potential soiled clothes in… nursing cover… blanket for just in case store is chilly… book for entertaining him… rattle… extra socks… AHA! Wrap!

Two-kid me: This is kind of nice, just being out of the house.
“Sorry, what? Oh, yes. Yes, they do have very blonde hair. Thank you.”
“Thank you.”
“Thank you.”
Sheesh. People.
“What? No, Mommy doesn’t want to buy that today.”
Where’s my list? Dang it, where did I leave the list?!
“No, no, no! Don’t pull brother’s hair!”
“Sorry? Oh, yes, very blonde. Thank you.”
Oh, I see it. On the bananas.
“Sorry, that’s my list.”
“You need to go potty?! NOW?! Can you wait two—okay, okay, okay, here we go! Excuse me! Sorry! Excuse me! Hang on! Hang on! Almost there! Just wait 30 more seconds! Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait!”
“Yay! We did it! Good job!!”
What time is it? WHAT?! How have we already been here for an hour!?
“Two, nine months old, and due in May. Yep. Hands very full. Yes, very blonde. ”

Three-kid me:
SMS message to “Husband”: Baaaaabe! I don’t want to load everyone up. I will die. On your way home, please get bananas, toilet paper, and a can of diced tomatoes.
            SMS message to “Husband”: And chocolate.
            SMS message to “Husband”: And maybe something quick & easy for tonight’s dinner?

            SMS message to “Husband”: Also diapers please. 

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